I’m starting this post in my office with a file in front of me and a cup of tea brewing.  The file is one of those that I get passionate about within five minutes of looking at it, because it involves workplace bullying.

I hate bullies.  I know, nobody likes them, but I truly fucking hate them.

I could tell you a lot of guff about why I hate them.  It’s enough to say that I was knocked around at school a lot when I was a kid, and for a decent whack of my life I kinda thought I had to just wear it when people threw their weight around.  I can’t abide the casual cruelty of bullies.  I hate the way they present you with your own weakness: “you wouldn’t last ten minutes working there – the boss would be chasing you about the place with a hammer“.  I hate their petty, venal abuses of power.  Above all, I hate the endless excuses they have: “you don’t know the pressure I’m under” … “I built this business up from nothing so I can run it how I want” … and the most sadistic and responsibility-denying of all: “if you don’t like it here, you know where the door is” when the all concerned know full well jobs are scarce and workers easily replaced.

As an aside, I notice the legal profession has a few dark secrets of its own –

lawyer overwork

It’s tempting to name the person in the case I’m working on, but I won’t.  I’m happy to let the pleadings do the talking (Michael Avenatti I am not).  It’s very tempting, however, to paste a Hellraiser meme into an affidavit and serve it on my opponent:

The case in question isn’t straightforward but I think I can win it.  I couldn’t fight back when I was on the factory floor.  The courtroom and the registry are my preferred battleground.  This defendant likes pushing people around?  I’ll play.

Let’s dance, motherfucker.